not looking to things behind

Ever since I became born again, my life hasn't been my own. The Bible calls it "being hidden in God in Christ Jesus." Granted, that was more a potential reality than an actual reality (smile), but, regardless, it is the truth.

Leaving the security of state employment was the first step I took in living that truth out in my life in a major (crazy?) way. And then making a big move geographcially was the next major (crazy?) step. I can't really say the move was 'for the Lord'. At least not intentionally, like I felt my other steps were. All I knew was that I had to do it. Sure, I had my reasons... but seeing none of it panned out like I had planned, it's obvious God had HIS reasons. Reasons I was totally unaware of at the time. And if I had foreseen the 'perfect storm' I was heading into, I'm sure I might never have gone. It was one of the most painful periods of my life on many different levels. But, in hindsight, it was one of the best periods in many ways... or I probably should say, in one ultimate way.

So here I am now. I've been incredibly blessed over these past 5 years, and I've been strengthened. I know my God in a way I never knew Him before... as THE reality of my life. Yeah, when every other reality gets stripped away, it's kind of inevitable that all you're left with is God. ;) He IS my bread and butter, my LIFE. And it feels so good to be in that place.

But what next? Where is this all heading? Where am I going?

I DON'T HAVE A CLUE! All I know is that it's deeper into God. And, to be honest, I have no idea what that REALLY looks like. All I know is what Jesus said, "No man, having put his hand to the plow and then keeps looking back (to the things behind), is fit for the kingdom of God."

What are the "things behind?" Well, this is how Jesus describes that in the story leading up to what I just quoted...

And it came to pass as they went on their way, a certain man said to Jesus, "Lord, I will follow You wherever You go." And Jesus said, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head."

And He said to another, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, allow me first to go and give the last honors (await the death of) my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury the dead (let those without eternal life concern themselves with things like that), but you go far and wide and announce the kingdom of God."

And another also said, "Lord I will follow You, but let me first say good-bye to my family (let me entrust my household to someone)." And Jesus said, "No man, having put his hand to the plow and then keeps looking back (to the things behind), is fit for the kingdom of God."

Strong words, aren't they. Very strong words. Uncomfortable words. (Yeah, to put it 'mildly'.)

There are people who give their lives to defending our nation. They leave family, home and country to put their money where their mouths are. And people usually applaud that decision with hearty thumps on the back and hearts filled with pride... granted, with lots of tears mixed in, too... but most everyone understands that person is heeding the voice of a 'higher call', a GREATER GOOD. They understand there are those who are compelled to make great personal sacrifices in order to obey "the call.' In this case, putting country and all that means before self.

And when they get to where they're heading there's extreme mortal danger everywhere they go. Especially in Iraq. There is NO REST there. The enemy is everywhere because that's where his IEDs are. It's extreme in its brutal life and death reality. But still, they do it, because they know that for them there is no choice. This is where they BELONG. Their only 'choice' is to offer their lives, simply because they believe that much in 'the cause'. Their peace is in knowing they have no doubt, giving their lives is what they must do. No matter what.

No matter what might happen or, even, how 'imperfect' things might be. Because if anyone's read anything about what goes down in war, it always seems far from 'perfect.' But in the minds of these soldiers it's worth it, because they're focused on the goal... the greater good. And no matter what goes down, they're willing to risk their lives because they believe with all their hearts that at the end of the day the greater good WILL prevail.

Wow. How many people can REALLY understand how that feels... to believe in something so much that you're willing to risk your LIFE for it? I can't say I can.

And it gets me thinking. If these young men and women, who haven't even really LIVED yet, are willing to give ALL for something they consider 'greater' than themselves, how much more should I give ALL for THE greater good of God? How much more should I heed the 'higher call' of Jesus? How much more should 'a great personal sacrifice' be made for the one who took me out of darkness? How much more should I feel 'obligated to give something back' for the one who set me free? How much more should I desire to go anywhere and everywhere to share that message so that others can have the chance to be free, too? How much? If we had the slightest inkling of who Jesus is and what He did for us, we'd know it'd have to be MUCH.

Much, eh? Enough to not care if there were no applause and hearty back-thumping, but possibly misunderstandings and resentment instead? Even from those I love and trust the most? Enough to know I might not always see where all the 'IEDs' are hidden? Or my next meal? That much?

What is my reality? The reality of the twelve apostles? The reality of the soldiers defending freedom and justice in Iraq? Just what is MY reality? Get the best paying job with decent benefits that I like 'enough' so I can live 'peace, peace' (safety and security) here on this planet until the day I lift off? Just what is it?!

For many of the soldiers in Iraq, those are moot points. They're too young to realize that the most important things in life are the safety and security of a 'good paying job with great benefits'. They're too foolish to understand that. Yeah, heheh, good for us, eh? Actually, good for the WORLD, eh? Cause most of us sure ain't gonna put out necks on the line like they are.

For many of the soldiers in Iraq, reality is simply stepping up to the plate and saying, 'Here I am, send me.' As much as they might not have a clue what's ahead, that's their reality. As a believer who trusts in the Lordship of Jesus Christ, as a so-called 'soldier of the cross', what's mine?

Here's some food for thought... did you realize that if you have enough financial wealth, people will accept (and basically RESPECT) almost ANYTHING you feel like doing with your life? Just look at Paris Hilton.