change
The changes feel like they're coming fast and furious.
For Christ sent me... to preach the gospel, to be telling the good news, the Glad-tidings... not with eloquent wisdom or an orator's cleverness or the Cross of Christ might seem an empty thing. The Message of the Cross is indeed folly to those who are in the path of Ruin, but to us who are in the path of Salvation it is the very power of God... to us who are being saved from that death it is nothing less than the power of God. As it says in the Holy Writings, I will destroy all human plans of salvation... render useless the philosophy of the philosophers and the wisdom of the learned no matter how wise they seem to be... I will ignore the best ideas of men, even the most brilliant of them, bringing to nothing the understanding of the prudent. For God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find God through human brilliance. It pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. We preach CHRIST CRUCIFIED, Christ dying to save them... sheer nonsense to the heathen. But God has opened the eyes of those called to salvation... Christ, the Center of God's wise plan for salvation... Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God. (From 1 Corinthians 1)
Yes, this isn't about me. It isn't about me by any stretch of the imagination. And don't we all have quite the imaginations. This is about the Father and His Son, Christ Jesus, come into this world to save us. To set us free from sin, sickness, disease, poverty, ignorance... death. From the death within OURSELVES.
That's all that this is about. And that's all I want to give my life for... the telling of the glad-tidings that Christ came and gave His life to save us... to set us free from death so that we can enter TRUE life. Abundant, real LIFE. Through Him. Holy Spirit life.
Please, Ab, make me an ABLE MESSENGER of the cross of Jesus Christ and Him crucified and raised. Amen. All I want is to be an AMBASSADOR of His good news. All I want is to be a MESSENGER OF THE CROSS AND RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST. Make is so, Ab, in Your Son's Name I pray.
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I see where I've been missing it. It's so obvious, it's ridiculous. Love me, love me not... love me, love me not. That's how I've been living my life. If 'you' love me, I'm happy. If 'you' don't, I'm miserable. Especially if 'you' happen to be family or friends... but, really, ANYONE for that matter.
I've believed a lie that I have to be loved by 'you' in order to have value. And if 'you' don't love me... well, there goes my value.
It says in the Word that Jesus gave His heart to NO MAN. He did not trust His heart to ANYONE. And yet, He was PURE LOVE. He was able to love with complete, utter, total purity... and yet, give His heart to nobody. Wow, that's wild. And that's what I want. That's what I need. I'm seeing now that if I expect to live on this planet, let alone be His messenger, then I have to be like that... like Jesus was when He walked this earth. Beholden to no one. Beholden to no one's love. Needy for NOTHING except His Father and Holy Spirit.
Yes, Jesus, that's the kind of life I want to live, too. That's the WAY I want to live, too. TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY UN-NEEDY FOR ANYTHING OR ANYONE... ESPECIALLY ANYONE'S 'SO CALLED' LOVE (after all, don't most people love us purely because they need our love in return?). Of course... incestuous humanity... that's all we're capable of without God... sucking the life out of each other because we don't have His life filling us.
I'M DONE WITH THE SUCKERS, LORD. I'm done with the sucking and I'm done with those who suck. I don't want to suck anymore, and I don't want anyone sucking on me. IT ALL SUCKS! ;) And I'm done with it. I've had it. It's not that man is 'bad' as much as he is UNABLE to be trustworthy because of his fallen-ness. And even those who have Your Spirit are 'in process' themselves, so they can't be trusted, either. Loved, of course. But trusted? Not. And it's a GOOD THING. Because they don't need the pressure! That kind of pressure forces them to PERFORM. And then we're back to square one... performing monkeys. And God doesn't want monkeys, He wants SONS... He NEEDS Sons!
YOU are the life-giver. You give me life, and in that I am able to give others life. But IT'S ALL THROUGH YOU! It's not about me or anyone else. 'Adoring' is INCAPABLE of giving life. All 'Adoring' can do is give death. It is only God in Adoring who can do ANYTHING. It's only God in ANYONE who can do anything.
Never forget that, Adoring.
Enable me to never forget, Lord!!!! :))))))))) XXXOOO
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I need a new 'start', Lord. A fresh start. I need to be away from relationships that have been in a 'sucking' pattern. I need new relationships that have a new pattern... YOU AND ONLY YOU.
I've turned a corner, Lord. A HUGE corner. And I can't go back. Heck, I don't WANT to go back. There's nothing 'back there'. Not really. Just my imaginations, actually. Nothing real. Ha. Funny. No, weird... strange. Unreal. But, regardless, forward is the only place I can go. Forward into You, JeFa. More of You. That's the only place there is to go.
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